


Friends

by raspberrysplash



Series: Gaster [2]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Agender Frisk, almost everyone in the underground is their friend, also frisk has a lot of friends like. a LOT of friends, because he sure as hell doesnt remember it, do you think sans or frisk ever even told him his first name, even wd gaster doesnt remember wd gaster, featuring: frisk and gaster becoming besties, frisk has lots of friends, frisk still believes in santa, gaster and sans have an ambiguous relationship. could be dadster. could be broster. could be sanster, gaster becomes a magical girl fan and i can respect that, gaster crying count: fuck i dont know, read it however u want, the only person that remembers who w d gaster was is sans, theres a lot of screwing around with the code in this one
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-24
Updated: 2016-02-07
Packaged: 2018-05-03 03:50:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 16,805
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5275430
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/raspberrysplash/pseuds/raspberrysplash
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>GASTER sees seven souls come to him. In one of them, he finds a friend.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Spaghetti

**Author's Note:**

> AFTER A WHOLE DAY OF WAITING!!! welcome to the sequel  
> alright so i didn't translate the wingdings mostly because there's only one instance of them so far and it gets translated in-story. if you really want it gone, you can turn off the skin!  
> this chapter is dedicated to everyone who wanted to give gaster a hug: it has finally happened. you are all wonderful and pure. thank you for believing in him  
> it is also dedicated to my beta, melt. thank u melt <3

Frisk was a very, very busy child. Having lots and lots of monster friends meant lots and lots of time spent with them, after all! Sans had even given them a little planner to schedule everything in before they left Snowdin (according to him, he wasn't going to use it anyway), and the nice lady from the inn found a pen for them under one of the beds! It was one of those gel ones that had glitter in the ink.

Knowing that they could record their daily activities in such style...

It filled Frisk with determination.

At around afternoon, they had already helped the innkeeper make oatmeal for all the tenants, brought some to Ice Dog and the River Person, skyped the monsters and spiders in the Ruins, pet ALL the Royal Guard Dogs, tried to pet Papyrus, got complimentary friendship spaghetti from Papyrus, tried some and experienced horrible stomach pain with Papyrus, got antiacids from Sans, played tag with Monster Kid, helped Gerson organize his new merchandise for sale, ran from Undyne for a couple of hours... now they were on to the next thing on the list.

Try to become friends with the scared skeleton behind the door.

They were a bit nervous as they looked down at their cargo- their planner, their pen, and... the friendship spaghetti. Papyrus... liked his spaghetti, so maybe a fellow skeleton would enjoy it too? 

... Maybe they should have brought Nice Cream instead.

They sighed. Might as well hope? They turned the large knob and opened the door.

There, inside, was the skeleton man. He was... odd looking. His body looked like one of Sans's snow sculptures- all lumpy and oddly runny in places. It seemed a bit like a robe. He had an odd face with several cracks, his upper right eyelid sagging as though he could not fully open the eye and his pupils a bright white against his black eye sockets. There were wide holes in his hands. He was looking at the ground, but as soon as Frisk entered, he looked up.

'Hello.' Frisk signed cautiously, trying not to scare him. He looked fearful, eyes darting from Frisk's face to their hands, backing away a bit... but his eyes seemed to rest on the spaghetti, on the planner. He stared for a moment before hesitantly, carefully relaxing a bit. He imitated Frisk's sign.

'HELLO.' This was good. He didn't seem as panicked as before.

'I'm F-R-I-S-K.' They introduced themself. Most monsters in the Underground seemed to sign- apparently, several monsters were incapable of speech, and many more just chose not to. As a result, Frisk was having little trouble communicating with most creatures they came across. Hopefully this monster was the same way (then again, he had already signed hello, so that was a good omen). 'What's your name?'

That seemed to confuse him a bit. He tried to move his hands, tried to sign, then stared at them forlornly, seeming to wonder why he could not form the letters. Frisk was about to comment, maybe comfort him or guess a name, but he opened his mouth and seemed to try and make a noise.

"GASTER."

Frisk could see his mouth moving, but they couldn't hear anything. They tried to read his lips. It was hard to tell- his lips moved oddly- but if Frisk tried hard enough...

'G-A-S-T-E-R?' They signed slowly, looking at his face. 

He beamed, his whole expression lighting up (metaphorically), then nodded. Gaster, then. Frisk reached out their hand, trying for a handshake, but he did not offer his in return. In fact, his face fell and he backed up a bit as soon as they moved towards him. Handshakes seemed to be a no-go. Frisk tried a new approach and sat down, patting the ground next to them.

Gaster looked at their hand, then them, then back at the hand. He made no move to sit.

... Well, maybe he would do it on his own. Frisk didn't want to force him.

They opened up the friendship spaghetti and reluctantly gazed upon its contents. Yuck, the pasta was all burnt, and... were those strawberries in the sauce? Euuugh. Gaster seemed to like it, though- as soon as Frisk uncovered the dish, he'd cautiously made his way over and looked down at the meal. He seemed intrigued.

'Want some?' Frisk tried signing, but once again, he looked confused. They tried a few variations, but he only seemed more and more befuddled. Finally, they just pushed the container to him.

He seemed a little alarmed, but he hesitantly picked it up and... ran a hand through the sauce. He tried to twirl his hand in the pasta, but it all simply went through the hole in his hand. He looked to Frisk for help, who... hm. Frisk had forgotten to bring utensils. 

They mimed putting their face into the container. Gaster seemed a bit unsure, but put his face in the dish all the same. 

It took a second, but he pulled his face out, lower half covered in pseudo-marinara, and chewed pensively, seeming to consider the flavor. Frisk watched in anticipation.

He swallowed...

And sighed, looking content.

Frisk relaxed, feeling a bit better. The road to friendship was truly a difficult one, but victory could still be achieved. They reached out slowly, looking at his face and waiting for any sort of alarm. Gaster appeared nervous, but did not move away.

Frisk took a handful of his cloak and tugged gently, patting the ground with their other hand. Finally understanding the gesture, he carefully, cautiously lowered himself to the ground until he was sitting. Good.

They gently crawled towards him. He held his ground. They slid into his lap. He looked distressed, but he didn't move. They slowly, carefully, kindly reached towards his face. He tensed up, but did not try to escape.

Frisk smiled and used their sweater sleeve to wipe the marinara off his face. A success! Now for the last step...

Gaster watched in confusion as Frisk, an affectionate child through-and-through, reached their hands around him and gave him a hug.

...

He slowly, surely mimicked them, reaching those odd hands around them and held them close.

...

Frisk patted his back. He rested his head on their shoulder.

Friendship achieved.

 

 


	2. Gift

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> gaster may be slowly forgetting literally everything, but he still will not accept the concept of santa. a scientific mind will only accept krampus.  
> chapter two!! gaster gets presents. most of them are food. frisk is a good child

Frisk knew better than anybody just how difficult making friends could be. 

If they really thought back on it, almost every one of their new buddies had attacked them at some point or another. Only through a decisive combination of encouragement, flirting, and smiling did things really pan out for the friendlier, and they almost always sustained a few injuries. They were getting better at dodging, though! And they tried not to take things to heart. Frisk had learned early on that monsters were either afraid of them or wanted their soul, and very few were actually mean-spirited. They'd even exchanged contact information with the ones that had phones!

Gaster... was very different. Where other monsters would attack, he would cower. If Frisk moved too fast, he did this... weird thing. It was hard to explain? He would sort of... go inside himself. Like, his hands and face would sink into the black goop his body seemed to be made of, and he'd be this kind of shuddering black blob for a few minutes. He'd usually come out if Frisk gave him reassuring pats or just waited five minutes (he'd usually peek out by then). Frisk preferred the pat method.

When Frisk next visited Gaster, they brought a few big duffel bags (Grillby used them when he went to visit his daughter in Hotland and was happy to share) and Papyrus's biggest purse. He looked very confused and a little worried (then again, that was his default expression). 

'Presents.' Frisk explained. Gaster's eyebrows (did he have eyebrows?) furrowed.

'BEARD?' Oh. He was thinking of Santa Claus. Frisk had explained the story earlier, during those hours of their first meeting, mostly just to have something to talk about. He just kept shaking his head during it. Apparently, he was not a believer.

'No. Not Santa.'

'GOOD. SANTA IS NO.' Gaster, evidently, only knew a few signs, but he could get his point across.

'Santa is yes!' Frisk retorted. Santa was definitely real. Gaster squinted.

'NO. PRESENTS?' Changing the subject, he pointed to the gifts. Frisk nodded and began to unpack them.

Among the gifts were: spaghetti, several Librarby books, a cinnamon bunny, lots of slightly-melted Nice Cream, a snow poff, an Ice-E word scramble, some of the decorations on Gyftrot, some dog residue, a sheet of stickers from Monster Kid, a few paper clips from Sans, a noisemaker, one of Greater Dog's poker cards, a nice hat, a few gold pieces, several pounds of Temmie Flakes, and a few punch cards. There were some other things, but Frisk hadn't taken inventory.

Gaster's face was stuck in a mix of shock and euphoria.

He looked at Frisk, reached out slowly, and then looked at Frisk again. They nodded; yes, he could touch the gifts. He slowly, carefully took a piece of gold first, moving it in his hands. He seemed to like how it shined. 

He passed Frisk a piece of gold as well. They both sat for a few minutes just looking at the way the light hit the coins. Frisk showed him how to spin them on their side. He looked awestruck. 

Gaster's interest turned to the snow poff next. He looked at Frisk before receiving another nod- apparently, he wanted confirmation before touching literally anything. 

He gave the snow poff a few gentle pats. A pensive look crossed his expression.

Frisk watched in anticipation.

Gaster's face lit up! He put the gold on top of the snow poff and looked at Frisk, pointing to both.

'YES?'

Frisk was incredibly confused. He persisted.

'YES?' Gaster touched the gold a couple of times, then the poff. He then continued to point.

It took a bit of concentration, but Frisk was... maybe starting to understand?

Gaster passed Frisk another gold coin and pointed to the snow poff. Frisk obliged him and poked them both.

They were cold.

Oh.

'Cold?' Frisk signed. Gaster's face looked like it would split apart of joy.

'YES! ARE COLD.' he replied. He began touching all the other things, adding the Nice Cream to the pile. Frisk started a separate pile of the paper-y things.

That day, they spent the rest of the visit categorizing things.

It was a good day.


	3. Box

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WE ARE JUST ABOUT TO EAT SO IM WRITING THIS AT LIGHTNING SPEED, HAVE FUN KIDS, I'M REVISING THIS LATER
> 
> happy thanksgiving!! be strong, everyone who has to go through bullshit today. at least thanksgiving ends
> 
> credit to treeni, who came up with a lot of the details in the dichotomous key. ur super cool treeni <3 <3

"Yo, Frisk, this thing sure is heavy!" Monster Kid commented as they helped push a large box. Frisk nodded. Their cargo was definitely not intended to be carried around, but... well, it was a special case.

The Dimensional Box was something Frisk honestly should have thought of before, but they'd been a little preoccupied, what with Undyne's constant chasing. Only after a suggestion from a friend had they realized how useful it could really be- instead of borrowing Grillby's duffel bags, they could just give Gaster a box!! That way, they could put little gifts in there for him whenever they wanted, and he would get them instantly! It was perfect, except for the heaviness...

"You're friends with Undyne now, right? She's super strong, I bet she'd be a big help!" Kid commented.

'No. Would break the box.' Frisk replied, taking a short break from pushing to sign their response. Through Papyrus's efforts, they had managed to go on a friend-date with Undyne! It was a relief to finally be on her good side, mainly because Frisk didn't have to run as much anymore, and they had a new pal! Undyne was really enthusiastic and funny and passionate about everything! Frisk liked her a lot.

But... she was just too excitable for the poor, sweet, fragile Dimensional Box. If a house couldn't survive her, then few things could.

Kid sighed and continued their efforts, pushing with their head while Frisk used their arms. Frisk had suggested the little monster use their back instead, but Kid waved it off, saying they were "too _head_ strong to give up now!"

Both had laughed at that pun.

It took another five minutes of pushing (really, they'd only been pushing about 15 minutes total), but they reached the door. Frisk booped Monster Kid's nose (no shoulder to poke, so...) and pointed to it. Kid looked confused.

"Frisk, yo... you sure this is the spot? All I see is a wall, yo." Kid slumped against the box, panting. The "yo"s were out in full force.

Frisk nodded and went to the door. They'd tried showing other people, but so far, no one else could see it. Not even Loox, and Look's _whole face_ was an eye! Frisk had surmised that either everyone needed glasses or it was a _secret_ door. Considering Gaster's... odd appearance, they were thinking the latter.

"Well, uh... if you say so!" Monster Kid replied as Frisk twirled the knob and opened the door. They could see... well, Gaster was certainly doing something. It was hard to tell from where they stood. He turned around as soon as he heard the door open, face brightening as soon as he saw Frisk. They grinned back, grabbing onto the box again. Monster Kid stood back up again (they nearly fell over, but they managed). 

"Yo... need any more help? Iunno how we're gonna push this into a door that I can't even see." They said, squinting at the wall. Frisk shook their head.

'S'ok. I can do it.'

"'Kay, well... have fun with your friend, yo!" Kid replied, going back through the hall. Frisk huffed, rubbed their palms together, spit into their hands, flexed their tiny muscles...

And...

They pushed the box a few centimeters. 

They tried again.

It went a couple more.

They tried again.

This was not turning out well.

Suddenly, the box was moving along the ground without Frisk even touching it! A pair of skeletal hands gripped it carefully, pulling it through the door. As soon as he'd gotten it all the way through the doorway, Gaster took the box in his hands and looked at it curiously. 

It took Frisk a second to notice, but they realized Gaster's hands were covered in spaghetti sauce. They looked at him just as curiously. Then, they caught sight of the walls.

Holy cow.

Gaster had scrawled something- it looked like a dichotomous key- all over the walls, using simple pictures and little connecting lines (if Frisk looked closely, the lines seemed to be noodles that were glued to the wall via the oddly-textured spaghetti sauce). It depicted every one of Frisk's gifts, each one filed under categories. Those categories were depicted with drawn-out hand signs. Every detail was clearly depicted, from the cinnamon bunny's cute little nose to the little drawing of Ice-E on the word search. 

It was amazing.

Frisk stared at it, tugging on Gaster's robe/goo and pointing. He looked up from the box, watching Frisk with a bemused expression.

'CATEGORIES FOR PRESENTS.' He signed, placing the box on the ground.

'Amazing.' Frisk replied, smiling. They felt like they learned a little more about Gaster.

'WHAT IS THIS?' Gaster pointed to the box, focus once again shifting. He tapped it, ran his fingers across it, scrutinized it. He's apparently never seen a Dimensional Box before.

'Dimensional Box. It's for you.' Frisk smiled, opening it up to demonstrate. Gaster grinned wider, seeming euphoric.

'THANK YOU, F-I-S-K.' He signed. He actually looked a little teary-eyed.

'F-R-I-S-K. You're welcome.' They corrected.

'F-R-I-S-K' He amended. He was still smiling. 'WHAT THIS DO?' His sign language was very, very broken still, but he was picking it up quickly. Whatever Frisk said, he could usually mimic flawlessly. 

'Lets us share items.' They replied, reaching inside. This really was a fantastic idea! They were excited, Gaster was gonna-

'... G-A-S-T-E-R?'

In Frisk's hand was the tough glove, currently the only item to have been in the box. Gaster was pressed against the wall. He was crying and... screaming? He wasn't making any noise (he never did), but his mouth was wide open and his body was heaving.

He looked absolutely terrified.

Frisk's brow furrowed. They slowly, surely put the glove back in the box.

Gaster was mouthing something over and over. Great globs of black goo were leaving trails down his face.

Frisk reached out to him. If they concentrated, they could just barely tell what he was saying-

" _ **COWARD COWARD COWARD COWARD COWARD COWARD COWARD COW**_ -"

His eyes never left Frisk, continuing to mouth the word. It seemed almost... like a mantra. Like the words weren't his. Like he was mimicking someone.

Who...

Who had called Gaster a coward, then?

Why was he so scared?

"- _ **RD COWARD COWARD COWARD COWARD CO**_ -"

They slowly, cautiously crawled towards him. Gaster's eyes followed them, but he looked like he wasn't actually seeing them.

Frisk climbed into his lap. They held him close. They rubbed his hands, nuzzled his chin, headbutted his chest. They tried to bring him back to the present.

He was so, so, scared.

 

'Gaster... what happened to you?' 


	4. Sleepover

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> frisk is a saint
> 
> hope everyone had a nice thanksgiving!  
> (ps: guess who's talking to frisk in the hover text?? i'll give you a hint- they're in frisk's head)

Gaster had taken a long, long time to calm down, and it took even longer to wrestle an explanation out of him. Frisk had asked different questions, gently and calmly, trying to keep him calm while simultaneously getting information, but they kept getting the same garbled mix of signs.

'NO WHO, NO I WHO, NO WHO' He'd signed, first while sobbing, then sitting stock-still, dribbling tears. Frisk wished they could tell what he was saying, but he just didn't appear to know the signs. They asked him to try and say it, thinking they could read his lips, but he'd shaken his head. Gaster didn't seem comfortable speaking right then. 

They ended up sleeping in the room with him, mostly to keep him calm. It actually turned into a fun sleepover! Frisk had sent a mass text to their friends, asking if their monster pals could put some blankets and sleepover supplies in the Dimensional Box for them to borrow. They'd explained the situation as "sad frend. needs comfurt. pleez give nis stuff. he liks spageti and tectures." Despite their bad spelling, people seemed to understand. 

God, did people understand.

Frisk and Gaster spent a good while just manning the box, making sure it didn't get overfull and pulling everything out. Gaster made sure everything was neatly categorized while Frisk retrieved things. It was a nice system.

Blankets, books, junk food, spaghetti, games, makeup, soda, stuffed animals, pillows came by the dozens! There were other things too, personal gifts- Papyrus's old onsie from when he was a baby (apparently he was a very tall baby, since Frisk fit in it perfectly), Monster Kid's coolest comic book (they'd written and illustrated it themself!), a box of bandaids with a little sticky note ("to heal ur aching heart ;)"), some of Undyne's manga (an index card was stuck inside- "DON'T GET THEM DIRTY, PUNK!!"), a joke book, some tea... and several little "get well" cards. Frisk would translate their contents into sign language (they'd learned early on that Gaster could not read). There were parts they were certain Gaster couldn't understand, but he seemed flattered nonetheless. 

'How do I look?' Frisk signed, clapping their hands in excitement as Gaster drew on their face. First on the list had been makeovers- Gaster wasn't comfortable letting Frisk touch his face, so it had been settled that he'd put band-aids over the cracks in his skull (Frisk had demonstrated bandaid application on one of their scabs). Now covered in brightly-colored bandages, he was returning the favor by doing Frisk's makeup. He was using a stuffed bunny as a reference. 

His hands were surprisingly steady, and he was taking the job very seriously. There were some innovative choices- false eyelashes were being used as whiskers, and he'd tucked Frisk's hair in the nice hat to hide it- and it all seemed to be shaping into a nice final product.

'LOOK.' Gaster finally announced, wiping a little bit of mascara off his hand. He seemed pretty proud! Frisk grabbed their phone and turned on the photo application, making sure to switch the camera to face view.

He'd done a fantastic job.

Frisk's face was colored white, little hints of pink highlighting the tufts in the drawn fur. Their nose was a tiny black circle surrounded by tiny eyeliner freckles and eyelash whiskers. Their eyes were circled with black, eyelashes peeking from the edges. When all was said and done, they looked just like the stuffed bunny.

They gave him a huge smile, which he returned.

'YES?'

'Love it.'

A selfie was taken and saved to Frisk's phone. They'd mass-text it later, but it was time for a new activity.

It was time to show Undyne's manga to Gaster.

It was time to show him _Baruto_.

When Frisk found the first volume, they plopped themselves down in Gaster's amorphous lap and cracked it open. It smelled like sweat and tea. Sweat-tea. Hehehe. Gaster pulled the monster candy over (he seemed to like it a lot- maybe he was a big fan of licorice?) and watched Frisk intently as they began to sign out the words.

'Once, there was a nine-tailed demon lynx. Its mighty tails could crush mountains and cause tsunamis.' Frisk began. He seemed skeptical. Or confused. It was hard to tell if he even understood what they were saying. They finished anyway, showing the image. He nodded. Frisk turned the page, arriving at the image for the first chapter.

'B-U-Z-U-M-A-K-I B-A-R-U-T-O.' Frisk spelled out the title, showing the image. He snickered at it (a picture of Baruto), pointing to the face and tracing his finger along the whisker markings.

'B-U-Z-U-M-A-K-I B-A-R-U-T-O LOOKS YOU.' He signed, pointing to Frisk's bunny whiskers. Frisk giggled and nodded, imitating Baruto's pose. Gaster laughed and tried as well. Neither one was very successful.

The night continued on after that, Frisk showing Gaster most of the activities.

It was a good night. 


	5. Interview, part 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> is it an undertale fanfic if sans doesnt make an appearance? who knows. anyway here he is... and also gerson. just thought you should know. and river person.
> 
> BET YALL DIDNT THINK THIS THING HAD A PLOT.... well, here it is. it's mostly people being cryptic and frisk getting confused and gaster just going "oh my whats that interesting wet thing over there". 
> 
> gerson is REALLY FUN TO WRITE.... i love gerson honestly. burgerpants is great and all but i can't resist gerson
> 
> ALSO PSSSST- if you're wondering where baruto is.... i added to the sleepover chapter ;) might wanna look

Frisk got to thinking about Gaster after that night.

They knew a few things. They knew that Gaster was probably a skeleton, that he wasn't able to really  _talk_  (or make noise for that matter), that he was somehow hurt by someone, and that someone was probably similar to Frisk- probably a human, since he'd had such a bad reaction to the tough glove, which seemed made for someone of Frisk's species and size (it definitely wasn't made for Monster Kid).

They also knew that Gaster couldn't communicate what happened- actually, he didn't even seem to be clear on the details. He'd said 'NO I WHO'- Frisk was assuming that meant he didn't know who... maybe? Or maybe he'd forgotten how to sign 'KNOW' and went with whatever rhymed- but honestly, they just weren't sure. Gaster was a mystery wrapped in an enigma, as the saying went.

So, Frisk was taking things into their own hands.

Gaster had proven to be able to leave the room- Frisk hadn't really had to ask, actually. Starting after the sleepover, a fuzzy figure had begun to occasionally follow them around. If they really,  _really_ concentrated, they could make out Gaster's face. Frisk supposed that he was lonely. He mostly hung around and watched, or would examine the various items of the surrounding area. He'd sign a quick 'hello' if he saw Frisk staring, but otherwise didn't try and interrupt anything. 

Frisk started asking him questions- mainly, if he could remember anyone or anything from the Underground. They'd toured him everywhere they could think of (or access- the Ruins were as impassible as ever). He'd shaken his head to most, but occasionally, there was a thoughtful, tentative 'yes', none seeming quite sure. 

He'd recognized Gerson, Sans, a picture of Toriel on Frisk's phone, and a portrait of someone Frisk didn't know. If Frisk wanted to learn about Gaster, those seemed to be the people to go to.

Unfortunately, though, they didn't find answers.

Toriel wasn't an option- after Frisk had left the Ruins, she'd cut off all contact. The portrait person was also out- how could Frisk talk to a person they didn't even know? 

That left Gerson and Sans. 

They tried Gerson first.

The tinny bell above the shop entrance gave a little ding as Frisk entered (despite there being no door- must have been magic), and Gerson looked up from his magnifying glass. He seemed to be inspecting an especially peculiar dead bug, with wide wings and pink legs.

"Welcome back! Here for more sea tea?" he asked, twirling the glass in his hands. Light bounced off of it and reflected on the many crystals embedded in the wall.

'No thanks. I have a question.' Frisk replied, trying not to look too thirsty. Sea Tea was tasty, but it made them all jittery.

"Shoot! I've probably got somethin' for you." He put down his glass and looked at them expectantly.

'Who's G-A-S-T-E-R?' They signed. Gerson stroked his beard.

"Gaster, huh? Hmm..." He leaned on his counter, seeming pensive.

Frisk waited.

He squinted off into space.

They fidgeted a little.

He tapped his temple.

Frisk really wanted some Sea Tea, jitteriness be darned.

"Nope! Sorry, that name doesn't ring any bells." Gerson announced. Frisk looked at him in disappointment. "Hey, keep your chin up! I don't want you crying on this stuff." He shooed Frisk backwards jokingly. "Anyway, sorry. Must be some real obscure fella. Why don't you ask the River Person? They've seen just about everyone in the Underground at some time or another." Frisk nodded. What a good idea!

'Thanks, I'll do that. Also, can I have a Sea Tea-' Frisk looked over to see Gaster poking around the display. 'Two Sea Teas, please?'

A Sea Tea later (and another put in the Dimensional Box- Frisk had tried giving it to Gaster normally, but he was apparently incorporeal outside his room), Frisk was on the boat to Snowdin.

"Tra la la... I'm thinking of becoming a vegetarian. Since monster food is mostly made of magic, it should be pretty easy..." River Person sang. They were always full of odd non-sequiturs. Frisk tapped their shoulder, successfully grabbing their attention, and began to sign.

'Do you know who G-A-S-T-E-R is?' Frisk inquired. The River Person paused, then turned away again.

"Tra la la... Beware the man who speaks in hands." 

Frisk tried to inquire further, but they had already arrived at Snowdin. Gaster didn't seem to have heard the message, or else just didn't understand. He was watching the water with keen interest.

Standing at the shore of the river was Sans. He gave them a little wave.

"hey. thought i heard somebody coming."


	6. Interview, part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sans, you're one stone cold motherfucker

"Tra la la... we're here." The River Person said, docking the boat. Sans reached his hand out to Frisk, grinning at them from the edge of the water. His pupils glowed in the low light. 

Frisk took his hand and stumbled a little as they stood up, violently rocking the wooden boat (and earning a surprised look from Gaster). Sans pulled them onto land.

"whoa there. try not to fall in, i'm no good at fishing." He winked, patting their back. Frisk gave a weak little giggle in response. Gee, it was hard to balance on that thing. They gave a goodbye wave to River Person as they rowed away, presumably to their next stop, while Sans's hands returned to their home in his pockets.

"actually, i was kinda hoping to see you. we've got a lot to talk about." 

Frowning, Frisk tilted their head. Sans kept a light tone, but his words were vaguely threatening as he began to saunter down the corridor.

"rumor has it you've been looking into a few secrets." Frisk followed, feeling uncomfortable and a bit worried. Sans was nice, but...        It was scary to see him so mad. "honestly, i've got no idea how you even heard about this stuff. but hey." He was                          still smiling. He shrugged. "maybe a higher power's looking out for you or something...?" Frisk shuddered. "you're a smart        kid. persistent, too. i've kinda been expecting you to ask me about this... or, should i say, about _him_. "

'G-A-S-T-E-R?' Frisk asked, hands shaking a little. They were finally getting some kind of clear answer, but they were starting to get scared.

Echoing along the hallway, their footsteps continued.

"that's the guy." Sans's eyes went black. "must've been looking places you shouldn't have if you know about him."

"anyway."

Whipping around, Sans stood directly in front of them, blocking their path. He'd stopped walking. Frisk was trembling harshly now, feeling              an intense terror build inside of them. Sans seemed really angry now.

" **Y ou're getting into some dangerous business, kid**." His voice had dropped to a whisper, but one obviously meant to be audible. It echoed along the corridor. Frisk backed up a little.

"best to stop while you're ahead."

Everything vanished for a moment, just a moment. Sans's grin grew.

When the hallway returned, he was nowhere to be found. 

 

Frisk shook and held themself. A pounding had entered their head, one that left them on the ground and whimpering. 

_'He's right, Frisk, you should just stay out of it!'_

_No. Gaster needs our help._

_'Frisk, we might already be too far gone. If the Player gets too interested in you-'_

_I don't care._

_'You'll end up like me! Frisk, I don't want that! You don't want that!'_

_He needs our help. I have to help him._

_'Frisk... Frisk, please, I feel bad for him too, but-'_

_He's our friend._

_'...'_

Frisk's eyes fluttered open, the pain in their temples receding. Gaster stood in front of them, tears running down his cheeks, fear and concern all over his face. He appeared to be trying to pat their back. Once he noticed them looking back at him, his expression was flooded with relief.

'OKAY?' He signed, rapidly looking them up and down for any injury. 

Frisk nodded, trying a smile. Seeing him so concerned for them...

It filled them with determination.

 

 


	7. But to me? This is my life. And Frisk is my friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ... Hah ha ha...

Frisk's headache was back, and worse than ever. They sat, curled on the ground, vision swimming, feeling Gaster's presence yet not knowing what he was doing. Fretting, probably. 

They were cold. The snow was too bright. Everything hur

"Determination."

They needed to calm do

I felt that, you know.

Gaster's faintly shimmering hand touched their shoulder, they fe

You just saved. I know what that means.

_Please, it h_

You're going to reload that eventually.

_Pl_

But it's just for emergencies, isn't it...? In case Frisk dies?

_Calm do_

Hah. Ha ha.

I am not an idiot, Player.

You just want to see everything our world has to offer.

Once we have reached our objective, you are just going to run back to your save.

And you will comb through every scene as you redo it. You will make new choices. You will see what happens when you do this or that.

But what about Frisk and I? We will just have to relive our victory again, and again, and again.

You will torture Frisk like you tortured me.

"Hee hee hee!"

...

Remember that laugh?

Because of you, I have memorized it. Every note. I can recall every single time I made him laugh.

Over 100 loops.

And that is only how many times you completely reset.

You ruined my life.

And now you're going to do it again.

To Frisk.

** I WILL NOT LET YOU DO IT AGAIN. **

_Chara._

** I HA TE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE Y OU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I **

_Chara._

** IHATEYOUIHATEYOUIHATEYOUIHATEYOUIHATEYOUIHATEYOUIH **

**_Chara._ **

...

...

...

...

_It's okay._

...

Frisk stroked their chest, touched where their soul was. They held their soul and they held it close. Chara was crying.

'Frisk, I'm dead. I killed myself... so that I could, I could stop...'

_'Shh. I'm here, Chara.'_

'So I could s-stop the player, a-and... F-Frisk, buttercups... t-they hurt s-s-so bad...'

_'It's going to be okay.'_

'A-A-Asr.... my brother's face... F-Frisk, I thought I was ready... b-but his face, he w-was so sad...'

_'I know.'_

'A-a-and after that... Frisk, I-I'm dead...'

_'I've got you.'_

'I c-can't hug my mom, I can't d-drink Dad's tea anymore...'

_'Shh. I have you.'_

'My b-b-brother, what happened to h-him... I just wanted to stop the loops, Frisk...'

_'I know. You didn't want to hurt anyone.'_

'The Player r-r-ruined my life, and n-now...'

'I-I don't want them to hurt you, Frisk...'

_'Shh. It's okay.'_

'T... They s-s-saved, they're going to... Frisk, I-I-I'm sorry, I couldn't s-save you f-from them...'

_'Shhhh.'_

'I-It's too late now, they're g-gonna... they're gonna r-reload over and over and over....'

_'It'll never happen again, Chara.'_

'...'

_'Shh.'_

_'I love you, Chara.'_

'...'

'I-I love you too, Frisk...'

They held their best friend close. The headache began to recede.

'Y-You're so good, Frisk, you're such a good person...'

_'So are you. You only ever wanted the best.'_

'Someone like you... F-Frisk, I can't let someone like you get hurt...'

_'Shh... I won't get hurt.'_

'...'

_'You need to trust me, Chara.'_

_'I won't let that happen.'_

'...'

'...'

'...'

'... Frisk, I know what happened to Gaster.'


	8. Threaten

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SORRY THIS IS SO LATE!!!
> 
> i barely read over this so.... i hope to heck its ok
> 
> warning for self harm and panic attacks. it's pretty blink-and-you'll-miss-it, but it's there
> 
> also also- credit to arcaneScribbler for the idea that DETERMINATION/determination is the player saving bc honestly i didnt think of that until they said it. theyre super great. theyre awesome. arcaneScribbler is super cool

Frisk receded to the back of our consciousness.

And I stood up.

Gaster was slumped over us, fat tears rolling down his skull and holding us with his odd, holed hands. As soon as I rose to my feet, he startled, seemingly not expecting us to be alive, but he quickly changed to relief at the revelation. He smiled widely with that cracked, damaged face.

I did that. You made me do it, Player.

If he noticed anything different about Frisk's expression, their mannerisms, he didn't show it. He was so different from how he used to be. I could see his feelings flitting across his face so quickly, see how his perception was clouded by relief and concern and utter joy...

I knew what I did. I started crying.

Look what this hell has done to me.

'I'm sorry.' I signed as his face shifted to alarm, as he tried to wipe my tears. 'I'm sorry.' There was no way he knew who I was. 'I'm sorry.' 

'I-S-K? I-S-K? OKAY? WHY NO OKAY?' His signs were clumsy and stuttering, overly simple. Gaster could not remember his sign language.

Once, he was smart. He was a genius.

In some timelines, Asriel and I would run around in his office and hand him random books from his shelves, turn them to random pages, choose random words and ask him to tell us what they meant. He always knew. 

Gaster's hands were graceful, with long fingers. He would always be apologizing because he'd start signing normally with us, forgetting we were kids and using really complicated words and signs. The simple language he would use, just for us, looked wrong on those hands. He was predisposed to long words, hard words typed in tiny text in heavy books. He liked to use smart words.

That was a long, long time ago, so many resets ago.

I stopped hanging around with him during the last few timelines. I didn't want to hesitate when I did it.

Then, I pushed him.

I didn't hesitate.

That was so long ago.

'I'm sorry. It wasn't worth it. I did such a terrible thing to you.' I tried to grip him, grip his hands, but he wasn't corporeal. How stupid of me. I should have remembered. 'I pretended that I liked it. I pretended that I was happy. I just wanted to be free. I just wanted them to go away. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.' He looked so confused. 

'I-S-K? I-S-K?" he signed back. I cried harder. He couldn't even remember Frisk's name.

'I-S-K? IT OKAY. YOU NOT TERRIBLE. IT OKAY.'

My breathing was harsh and stuttered. It almost sounded like laughter, bitter and hard. Hair kept getting stuck in my snot. My tears tasted salty. 

He didn't even know what he was forgiving me for. He just didn't want to be alone.

' _That's not true. Gaster's nice._ '

...

Pain could wait.

I sniffled and began to explain myself.

'You were pushed into something called the CORE.'

He looked so confused. Really, I was saying it more for Frisk than him. But he deserved to know.

'It's a very special invention that powers the whole Underground with magic.'

Gaster had babysat us during his fieldwork, once. He would show us all the mineral percentages in the ground and tell us what they meant. He taught us how sand was composed of different things than dirt, and how dirt was different from soot.

Player. I wonder if you watched me do this...? I hope not. 

'To make magic, it takes geothermal energy- that's like heat trapped in the ground- and converts it to magical energy- which is what monsters use every day. Monsters are mostly made of magic.'

I didn't want to be evil anymore.

'Since you're a monster, you're also made of magic. Because you're made of magic, the CORE thinks you're an energy source.'

Gaster obviously had no idea what I was talking about. He was running his hands over my arms. Damn it, I must have scratched my arms open again.

'The CORE is taking magic from you and giving it to other monsters. That means that you're slowly fading away, bit by bit.'

'So...'

'If we want to save you,'

'What we have to do is...'


	9. Mettaton

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO HEY ITS SURE BEEN A WHILE
> 
> sorry i took so long!! finals season has really been intense guys. but im back!! and i wrote an extra long chapter for everyone.
> 
> i didnt even think i'd have mettaton in this, but here we are. what a show-stealer.

"Y-You want to do what?" Alphys turned and gave Frisk an odd look. They stood before her, their eyes darting across the room as they watched Gaster move around. He had an odd look on his face.

'I want to turn off the CORE.' Frisk repeated their sign. Alphys's face scrunched in a look of shock and confusion before glancing at her cameras, then the wall. She seemed to be waiting for something.

"U-um... I thought you wanted to get to the surface?" she asked, scratching at her scales. "W-Wasn't that your goal this whole time?" Frisk looked over at Gaster.

'Not really. Can you take me to the CORE? The elevators are broken.' they insisted. Chara had told them where it was. Actually, it was a little scary just how much detail they remembered.

Alphys shifted a little.

"U-Um, well... the thing is-" 

"OOOOOOH, YES!!!!!" A loud thumping echoed across the lab, shaking the walls. Alphys squealed, Frisk jumped, Gaster startled and looked at the wall disapprovingly, and...

The wall was smashed open, revealing...

_ '... Frisk, is that... a calculator???' _

It was a calculator.

"WELCOME, BEAUTIES... TO TODAY'S QUIZ SHOW!!!"

It was a 20 questions game?

"I'M YOUR HOST, METTATON, WITH A SPECIAL GUEST STAR..."

It was... Mettaton?

"THE HUMAN!!!" Mettaton gestured to Frisk, throwing a bit of confetti at them. Strobe lights were flashing around the room. Alphys looked incredibly uncomfortable. Gaster just looked confused.

'I don't have time for qui-' Frisk started, being cut off by the calcul- being cut off by Mettaton.

"OHOHO, BUT DARLING, QUIZZES ALWAYS HAVE TIME FOR YOU!!!" He yelled (he seemed to do that a lot). "AND RIGHT NOW.... IT'S QUIZ TIME!!"

Frisk's soul suddenly pulled out of their chest, hovering above them. It looked like the robot was going to force them. Frisk silently asked Chara for help.

 _'Mettaton.'_ They generously supplied.

Thanks, Chara.

Mettaton pulled out a sheet of paper and began to read from it. 

"QUESTION ONE! WHAT IS... OH, MY." Mettaton almost audibly frowned. Frisk was trying to pull the paper out of his hands. With their teeth. "MANHANDLING THE JUDGE IS NOT ALLOWED!!"

'Please. I need to go to the CORE.' Frisk insisted, pulling harder. 'I gotta help my friend.'

"SKIPPING THE QUIZ SHOW IS ALSO NOT ALLOWED!!" He pulled back.

Frisk pulled harder.

Mettaton pulled harder.

Frisk pulled harder.

Mettaton pulled harder.

Alphys was trying to leave.

Gaster was asking if Frisk was okay.

Frisk pulled harder.

And then...

The paper tore!

...

Mettaton seemed very unhappy.

"... WELL. IT SEEMS WE'VE GOT A DIRTY CHEATER IN OUR MIDST." The strobe lights stopped. He stood perfectly still. Frisk was very frightened.

"LOOKS LIKE YOU REALLY WANT TO FIND OUT WHAT HAPPENS TO CHEATERS ON THIS SHOW." He said, sounding threatening. Gaster seemed to also be very frightened.

"AND LUCKY FOR YOU..."

"I'M ALL TOO WILLING TO PROVIDE!!!"

Mettaton waved his hand, and a laser fired.

It hurt.

It hurt very, very much.

An suddenly, they felt themself fade backwards. Someone else was taking control.

I came back.

 

 

 

'Calculator. Listen. I need to get to the CORE.' My hands moved fast. I didn't care for this thing and its theatrics. 'It is a matter of life and death.'

"WELL WELL WELLY WELL WELL. YOU ARE CERTAINLY PERSISTENT." He responded. "DO YOU WANT AN ENCORE? I'M FINE WITH IT IF THE AUDIENCE IS! WINK." He actually said wink out loud. And leaned towards where I supposed the camera was.

I had an idea.

I turned to the camera.

'Everyone. I have a friend. He is very sick and needs my help. I need to go to the CORE to help him.' I put on my kindest face. Toriel taught me how to smile nicely. I looked at Mettaton. 'Please. Won't you let me go, Mettaton? I do not want him to suffer.'

He looked very uncomfortable. He almost sweated, except he was a robot. So, he didn't sweat.

"WELL... WHAT AN INTERESTING TURN OF EVENTS, BEAUTIES!!!" He flailed his arms about in an attempt to retain some dignity. I didn't even think he had any. "A NOBLE CAUSE!! A TENDER HEART!! DOES IT RESONATE WITH YOU, DEAR VIEWERS? BECAUSE IT CERTAINLY DOES WITH ME!!!"

Mettaton stuck out his hand. I smiled and shook it. 

We definitely hated each other.

' _I like Mettaton._ '

Shh, not now.

"WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY SO EARLIER, DARLING?? OF COURSE YOU CAN GO THROUGH!!! I COULD NEVER DEPRIVE YOU OF SUCH A PURE, SWEET GOAL!!!" He proclaimed, patting my back. I smiled and signed a quick thanks. We definitely, definitely hated each other.

'Thank you, Mettaton. And thank you to everyone watching. I'm so thankful to you all.' I made sure Frisk's dimples were showing. Adults love dimples.

"PLEASE TUNE IN FOR THE NEXT EPISODE, EVERYONE!! THERE WILL BE!!! MORE ACTION!!! MORE DRAMA!!!! MORE... ROMANCE?" He gave Alphys a knowing look. She covered her face. "ONLY FROM THE PROFESSIONALS, OF COURSE."

I waved goodbye to the camera and began to walk away.

Alphys grabbed my hand.

"W-wait!! I-If you're going t-to the CORE... I-I can show you... the way. If you want. I-It would be safer if I was with you."

Hm.

'Thank you so much, Alphys. You are very kind.' I smiled. She blushed.

We started off, Mettaton's outro filling the air.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

You have been doing well so far, Player.

Have you remembered what I told you?

I certainly hope so.

It's nice. Isn't it so much easier to not make us suffer?

This way, I don't have to make anyone suffer either.

** We're both happy. **


	10. Dark

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> so HEY its TIME FOR A NEW CHAPTER!!! i had lots of fun formatting this one. super fun

We walked in silence for a while. Alphys seemed nervous, but she didn't seem to have noticed anything different about me. Maybe she just wasn't very socially attuned.

Gaster was trailing behind us. He kept looking at me suspiciously- he was probably starting to notice the discrepancies between Frisk's behavior and mine. Then again, he wasn't exactly a secure person to begin with. Odd behavior stressed him out.

Something happened to cause that.

...

Well. I've already told you how I feel on the subject.

Alphys tried a few times to speak to me, but I didn't really want to talk. Frisk was doing plenty of that in our head, anyway.

' _... What was Gaster like?_ ' They asked hesitantly. Frisk knew I was okay with talking about the past, but they still worried I'd be upset. I paused for a moment, my steps slowing a bit. Alphys gave me a concerned look.

_ 'Before I...' _

_'Yup.'_

I smiled back at her, not wanting her to be suspicious. We kept walking.

_ 'Tall.' _

_'Tall?'_

_'Really tall. And skinny.'_   It took a bit of thinking to really recall. The last time I had seen him normally had been so long ago. _'He had nerve damage, so he couldn't move half his face. Um... he also couldn't really work his tongue. And something might have happened to his throat? He used sign language instead of talking, anyway.'_

A few monsters nodded to us as we passed. They didn't seem really interested in chatting.

_'And he knew Sans?'_

_ 'Yeah. There was a picture of him on his desk. One of Papyrus, too.' _

_'... So he was a nice person?'_

_ 'Um... not as nice as my dad. He had trouble understanding feelings. But he meant well.' _

One time, I peeked in on him talking to Asgore about mineral deposits. Something about Hotland residents not selling their mineral rights, and how he wished they would, since it would give him more material to study. Dad had pointed out that the monsters living there may not have wanted to have excavations happening on their property. Gaster looked genuinely confused about that. 

He was a good person, though. He never forced things on anyone, and he tried his best to help out. When I would start crying, he let me play with his fingers or bury my head in his shoulder, and he would be fine with it. He didn't try to hurt people. He didn't deserve what happened.

Frisk didn't talk for a little while after that. From what I could tell, they were trying to imagine him. They kept forgetting his long fingers and weirdly small feet, but then again, I hadn't mentioned them.

I kept walking.

We were close. Honestly, I knew where the CORE was already, but Alphys seemed pretty desperate to show us around. She seemed... disappointed, somehow. Frisk was worried. They didn't want her to be sad.

The CORE looked very similar to my memories of it- blue with odd shapes etched into the walls. I had never learned what they meant. Over every doorway was an odd wheel shape, two wings sprouting from its sides and a gradient of energy etched into the wall above it. They each had a dot in their center.

_'Like an eyeball.'_

Yes. There were a lot of them, too. Frisk felt unnerved.

There were more puzzles than I remembered. All of them were turned off, but I could see them dimly shining in the low light. Alphys must have added them. Gaster never bothered with puzzles- he would just lock the door.

Actually, he was examining them as we walked. He seemed interested, but more in the machines than the actual puzzles. He kept looking around the building, too. Likely, he could feel the memories of his creation reaching to him from whatever fragments were left of his mind, but could not quite capture them. I knew. I had predicted that would happen. It was the most horrific thing I could think to do to him, to force him to forget. To slowly lose himself.

_'Don't beat yourself up. You didn't actually want to hurt him.'_

_'Besides, you're fixing it now.'_

Frisk was so precious. So good.

Alphys walked us into a large, dark room, thrumming with energy. I felt sick. This was the room. It was thick with magic and memories. A metal railing surrounded a large hole in the middle of the room. 

One time, I had tried to go with Gaster into that room. He didn't let me, said it was too dangerous. I was younger back then. I kept asking, and he gave my dad a pleading look. I got carried out for a game of Hide and Seek after that. 

I tried again the next loop.

And the next.

And the next.

And then, I succeeded.

Well...

You know what happened after that.

"T-The emergency shut-down button is over h-here." Alphys pointed to a large button covered by a glass case. "Usually, br-breaking the glass will set off the alarm, b-but I deactivated it for you, so you s-shouldn't have any problems getting to it..." She was shifting back and forth, just a little bit.

I didn't want to be here.

Frisk.

Frisk, I don't want to be here.

_'I can tak-'_

Player. Player, I may be a terrible person. I am a terrible person.

_'Chara, li-'_

But you made me this way.

_**'Chara.'** _

...

I receded.

Frisk came back.

'Thank you.' They signed back, smiling. 

_'Are you okay?'_

_ 'I... I'm sorry. I'm sorry.' _

_'Do you need to take a break?'_

_ 'No. Let's just... I'll...' _

Frisk felt something fall away from their mind. Sometimes Chara would do this. They would flee somewhere deeper, further away. It had been like that for the first week of their journey. Chara only began talking to them when they met Papyrus, and that was to warn them about blue phases. Back then, Chara wasn't as nice. They were venomous and bitter and kept talking to the Player and ignoring Frisk. Frisk could feel their sadness in the back of their mind. It took a long time for Chara to start listening, to start caring. Frisk had spent over a month in Snowdin and Waterfall after Chara had begun to speak, taking a break to try and help them. It took a while. Frisk eventually learned what Chara liked and didn't like.

Chara liked touching things and running around and talking to Frisk and swimming. 

Chara didn't like the color yellow or flowers or playing Hide and Seek or pie or tea or Flowey or Toriel.

It was a little hard to put the pieces together, but Frisk knew the Player had done things to really hurt Chara. So much so that Chara would retreat into a little ball of anger and hatred and feel so much **loathing** towards the Player, towards themself... Frisk also knew that Chara did really bad things because of the Player. Things Chara thought were unforgivable.

But Chara was sorry. And Frisk had never seen the Player, didn't know very much about them, but they were sure the Player was sorry too. After all, they hadn't reset once since Chara had asked... threatened.... told them not to.

Frisk was sure as they walked to the big button.

They were sure as they lightly tapped the glass with their trusty stick.

 

They were sure as they hit the button,

** and everything went dark. **


	11. Soul

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wingdings translation:
> 
> ISK? ISK?? WHERE GO??
> 
> ARE OKAY?? WHERE??
> 
> ISK??


	12. Text

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay its so fun to write frisk texting because like. kids are so bad at spelling. its so funny
> 
> its also a nightmare because i have to translate everything they text
> 
> we're starting to wrap this up!! don't worry though, there's gonna be a sequel
> 
> you can hover over the text to see the translation, or you can read the end notes if you're on mobile!!

**7:42 PM: You sent papyrus a message!**

   hi papyrus itz frisk

   can u giv sans ur fone 4 a secont

**7:42 PM: papyrus sent you a message!**

HELLO HUMAN!!!   

ONE MOMENT!! I WILL DELIVER MY PHONE TO SANS POST-HASTE!!   

.... IF I CAN FIND HIM.   

**7:43 PM: You sent papyrus a message!**

   thanks papyrus

**7:45 PM: You sent papyrus a message!**

   ok iz he on

   i hope hes on

   hi sans itz frisk

   im srry that i didnt litsen 2 u

   im with alfys rite now

   alphys** she sed her names alphys not alfys

   i turnd of the CORE so now we r sittign down wiht candles sinse its dark

   metatuns here 2

   mettaton** he got mad cuz i speled it rong

   gasters here 2

   i used 2 b the onely 1 who cud c him bt now alphys n mettaton c him 2

   i told alphys wat happnd to him nd how he got hurt

   she was rly suprized

   she sed hte CORE wuz using him as an enrgy sorce 4 a long tim so he shuld be all gone by now

   but hes not nd hes here

   im rly proud of him

   anyway she sed he wuz al broken up by the CORE nd he culdnt consintrate his soul in2 a cumpleet form cuz of that

   so he wuz like a gost but also not

   there wuz other stuff 2  but it wuz rly siens-y so i didnt get it

   but i turnd of the CORE so his soul came bak togeter nd evry1 cud c him

   so now hes here

   alphys sed a lot of him stil got eatn up by the CORE tho so his soul iz week

   it hasnt shatered yet cuz the CORE gav him axes to a lot of majick

   so his soul iz eating up the surronding majick enrgy 2 stay alive

   i didnt undrstand very wel but she sed itz lik pluging ur fone in 2 charge so it duznt turn of

   she sed she can giv him determination 2 strengthin his soul like wut i hav

   im gunna give him sum of mine cuz i hav a lot and he duznt need that much

   shes evn gunna giv him a new body

**7:55 PM: You sent papyrus a message!**

   i promiss i didnt hurt anyone or do anything weird

   if ur woried about the Player (dont ask how i kno u kno abt them i just do) then dont wory

   i told them not to reset or hurt the timeline

   so evrything turnd out ok

**7:57 PM: You sent papyrus a message!**

   i think u kno gaster but im not sure

   anyway hes here so if u want 2 c him u can

   just b careful

   hes shy n he gets scared rly easyly

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi Papyrus, it's Frisk. Can you give Sans your phone for a second?  
> [...]  
> Thanks, Papyrus.  
> [...]  
> Okay, is he on? I hope he's on. Hi Sans, it's Frisk. I'm sorry that I didn't listen to you. I'm with Alfys right now. Alphys** She said her name's Alphys, not Alfys. I turned off the CORE, so now we're sitting down with candles since it's dark. Metatun's here too. Mettaton** He got mad because I spelled it wrong. Gaster's here too. I used to be the only one who could see him, but now Alphys and Mettaton can see him too. I told Alphys what happened to him and how he got hurt. She was really surprised. She said the CORE was using him as an energy source for a long time, so he should be all gone by now. But he's not, and he's here. I'm really proud of him. Anyway, she said he was all broken up by the CORE, and he couldn't concentrate his soul into a complete form because of that. So he was like a ghost, but also not. There was other stuff too, but it was really science-y, so I didn't get it. But I turned off the CORE, so his soul came back together, and everyone could see him. So now he's here. Alphys said a lot of him still got eaten up by the CORE though, so his soul is weak. It hasn't shattered yet because the CORE gave him access to a lot of magic. So his soul is eating up the surrounding magic energy to stay alive. I didn't understand very well, but she said it's like plugging your phone in to charge so it doesn't turn off. She said she can give him determination to strengthen his soul. Like what I have. I'm gonna give him some of mine because I have a lot and he doesn't need that much. She's even gonna give him a new body.  
> [...]  
> I promise I didn't hurt anyone or do anything weird. If you're worried about the Player (don't ask how I know you know about them, I just do) then don't worry. I told them not to reset or hurt the timeline. So everything turned out okay.  
> [...]  
> I think you know Gaster, but I'm not sure? Anyway, he's here, so if you want to see him, you can. Just be careful. He's shy and he gets scared really easily.


	13. okay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HERE IT IS.... I SHOULD BE DOING HOMEWORK BUT FUCK IT I WANTED TO WRITE
> 
> translation is hover or on the end note!! 
> 
> sans insists he's okay. he is not actually okay. gaster is still confused

Frisk closed their phone and looked around at everyone.

It was peaceful. They were sitting in Gaster's lap, making sure he stayed calm, trying to distract him. He'd been terrified at first- once he'd realized that Alphys and Mettaton could see him, touch him, he had tried to teleport away- by then, though, Alphys had sealed his soul in a clear little cylinder. He couldn't leave without his soul. He'd been trapped.

After that, he'd assumed his old blob position- sinking his head and hands into his own goop, turning into a drippy black pile of tar-like goo. Frisk had sat with him for a while- patting him reassuringly, which was usually effective in getting him to at least calm down a little- but they were having trouble getting him to actually relax. Even if he would poke his head out, whenever Alphys or Mettaton would make noise, move too close, even just look at him funny, he would retreat back to his goop. It was making Alphys really anxious in return. Mettaton actually seemed pretty okay with the situation. Maybe he'd known someone before who was as sensitive as Gaster?

Chara had calming down too, in the back of their head. They felt them come back, emotionally exhausted and haunted by bad memories, but somewhat more stable. They were usually pretty good at calming themself down.

Alphys ended up pulling out her phone and playing around on that while Mettaton, having grabbed a pen, was drawing himself in incredible detail on a scrap of paper. He was actually a pretty decent artist. 

Frisk had grabbed a pen too- Alphys had, after all, said she would make Gaster a new body, and they wanted to make sure it looked right. Chara was guiding them through the process.

_ 'You know what his face looked like. It was the same as it is now, just without the cracks.' _

_ 'No, he never showed his neck. He always wore a scarf or a turtleneck or something. He was insecure about it.' _

_ 'His feet were weird. Like, they were really really small.' _

By the time they were done, it had been about thirty minutes. Gaster looked curiously at it, tracing his finger along the face.

'ME?' He signed, pointing to the face. Frisk nodded. He looked pensive. 

'NOT FALL ME?' He signed. Frisk nodded again.

He seemed deep in thought. Frisk flipped the page over and began drawing something else. A different skeleton.

'The skeleton from before.' Frisk traced their finger over the lines, the chubby little face on the page. 'Sure you're okay with him coming?'

'YES. YOU WANT HIM COMING. I WILL BE OKAY.' Gaster seemed a little jittery, but he wasn't as terrified as before.

'Thanks. If you need him to leave, just ask.' Frisk smiled. It had been a couple of hours since he'd returned from hiding (aka, pretending to be a puddle of Gaster goo), so they were decently sure that he was calm enough. Besides, they needed to apologize to Sans. 

'His name is-'

"sans. nice to see you again, g."

Gaster startled, clinging to Frisk, who looked up to see the skeleton himself. Sans stood behind the two, leaning down and looking at the picture of himself.

"i guess you don't remember me...?" His smile was the same as always. Frisk couldn't really read how he was feeling. "that's okay, i figured. you were gone for a pretty long time."

'HELLO.' Gaster had inched away a bit, turned so that he could see Sans. His reply was short. He didn't seem to know what to say.

Sans reached his hand out for a shake, but the other skeleton flinched back. He watched him for a moment, then put his hand back in his pocket.

"well, anyway. let's catch up sometime. i dont want this to be the _spinal_ time we talk. " Frisk giggled, just a little bit, more for Sans's sake rather than humor. Sans was definitely hiding his feelings.

(Gaster was making a face that almost certainly meant 'what in the world is a spinal') 

"by the way, frisk..."

Frisk's phone vibrated. They looked down. 

**8:45PM: papyrus sent you a message!**

i want to talk to ya in private, but it looks like i can't get you alone, huh?   

**8:45PM: You sent papyrus a message!**

   this iz ok. gaster cant reed

**8:45PM: papyrus sent you a message!**

good.   

he's doing okay?   

**8:45PM: You sent papyrus a message!**

   hes fine. he wuz scared nd cunfused but hes bettre now

**8:45PM: papyrus sent you a message!**

hey, that's great.   

anyway. guess you were right. everything turned out good.   

did any of this happen in another timeline?   

**8:46PM: You sent papyrus a message!**

   no. this iz the frist time

**8:46PM: papyrus sent you a message!**

nice.   

sorry for scarin ya back in snowdin. didn't want things to get messed up.   

thought if you kept up with this, the player would really start meddling.   

but you made sure they didn't.   

good on ya.   

**8:47PM: You sent papyrus a message!**

   thanks sans nd itz ok

   i kno u just wanted to make shure evrything went good

   r u ok?

**8:49PM: papyrus sent you a message!**

what?   

i'm fine, kid.   

**8:49PM: You sent papyrus a message!**

   itz ok if ur sad

   i wood b 2

**8:50PM: papyrus sent you a message!**

heh. well, thanks.   

 

They sat in silence for a little while. Gaster was confused as to why everyone had stopped speaking. He started playing with Frisk's hair. 

**8:54PM: papyrus sent you a message!**

honestly, this is the most emotional i've ever seen him.   

never was the type to share his feelings.   

**8:55PM: You sent papyrus a message!**

   wuz he nise?

**8:55PM: papyrus sent you a message!**

yeah, he was a good guy.   

**8:56PM: You sent papyrus a message!**

   hes stil nise

**8:56PM: papyrus sent you a message!**

i bet he is.   

**9:01PM: You sent papyrus a message!**

   sans?

**9:01PM: papyrus sent you a message!**

what's up?   

**9:02PM: You sent papyrus a message!**

   how did u kno gaster?

   if the qweschin maks u sad u dont hav 2 anser

 

Sans chuckled humorlessly.

**9:02PM: papyrus sent you a message!**

nah, didn't i tell you already?   

i'm fine.   

anyway. gaster was my...   

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> alternate ending:  
> Gaster peeked at Frisk's phone and tapped a few keys. Frisk's eyes widened in horror. He sent it. Sans looked up in shock.
> 
> 'I CAN READ FINE. YOU ASSHOLES.'
> 
> text translation:  
> This is okay. Gaster can't read.  
> [...]  
> He's fine. He was scared and confused but he's better now.  
> [...]  
> No, this is the first time  
> [...]  
> Thanks Sans, and it's okay. I know you just wanted to make sure everything went good. Are you okay?  
> [...]  
> It's okay if you're sad. I would be too.  
> [...]  
> Was he nice?  
> [...]  
> He's still nice.  
> [...]  
> Sans?  
> [...]  
> How did you know Gaster? If the question makes you sad, you don't have to answer.


	14. Roomies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AFTER FIFTY YEARS, ANOTHER FLUFF CHAPTER!! i had a lot of fun writing this... lots of fun
> 
> sans, why do you have a card from gaster in your pocket? someone's been reminiscing :3c
> 
> also!! treeni is a super cool and super nice friend who recently updated her story They Help You Put A Little More Backbone Into Life!! her story is super good, and if you like how this story is formatted, i think you'll like hers too!! she even does character text!!

The next few months were all about Gaster. Alphys was working on his new body, Frisk (and Chara) was giving him reading and signing lessons, Sans would pitch in with both jobs when he had the chance, Papyrus would send more spaghetti... really, Gaster never spent more than ten minutes without someone paying attention to him. Even at night, Frisk would sit on his lap and sleep there (mostly because it was the most comfortable place in the lab). 

Frisk was really happy, actually! They were living in Alphys's laboratory with him, and Gaster's emotional state was steadily improving by the day. He'd slowly opened up to the lizard monster over the course of a few weeks, starting after she'd put the first episode of Baruto on. He'd quietly trickled over, constantly looking to Frisk for reassurance about his safety. Frisk had smiled at him and nodded. Alphys had jumped a little, but let him come all the same. It was nice.

Alphys had confided in Frisk that Gaster's appearance brought back... bad memories, but that she was alright with him. He wasn't very threatening, after all.

Sans was the next one he became friends with. The skeleton would bring books for him, mostly, and in the beginning, Gaster would just watch him from a safe distance and sign a 'thank you', but as time went on he began to seem more comfortable, even approaching him.

'HE ALWAYS LOOKS SAD WHEN HE TALKS ME' He told Frisk one night. His signing was getting better and better with lessons, and Frisk could see why Chara called him a genius. 'EVEN WHEN I DO GOOD.' His communication was still limited, but he was leaps and bounds from his old signing.

'Not your fault. He's sad you don't remember him.' Frisk replied.

'WISH HE WOULD STOP. HE CONFUSES ME.' Gaster's hands flitted through the signs relatively slowly, but his speed was impressive for how long he'd been learning. 'I KEEP THINKING I DID WRONG THING BECAUSE HE GIVES BAD LOOKS. THEN I FIND OUT HE IS JUST SAD.'

'Want me to talk to him?'

'NO. I WILL DO.'

Sans did look vaguely pained whenever he saw Gaster. His hold on whatever was in his arms would loosen, his eyes would crinkle in this sad, sad way, his smile would fall just a bit... sometimes, he would go do something- grab food from the fridge, check his station, run by the librarby- and when he came back, Frisk could see little wet drops on his shirt. Like tears.

Sometimes, Alphys and Gaster would hang out together, and in those times, Frisk would talk to Sans. He was never very forthcoming with information on his feelings, but they could tell that he wanted to talk to someone about his memories.

"he wore a lot of flow-y clothes. you know what i mean? half the time, he looked like a yoga instructor."

'Colors?'

"nah. he wore grey and black most of the time. he wore blue on my birthday, though."

'What presents?'

"huh? well, he had a pretty good memory. if i said something was cool, he'd remember and give it to me then."

Frisk giggled.

"one time, i went a whole year without talking about stuff i wanted, just to mess with him. he started freaking out 'round that special time of year. in the end, he just gave me some gold and a card."

'What did it say?'

"wait, i think i have it in my pocket." He rustled around in his pockets. "here ya go, frisk." 

Frisk took it in their hands. It looked store-bought. On the outside, it said "Happy Birthday to a guy with a heart of...". On the inside, in black print, was written "Au". Gold. Hee hee.

In smaller, blocky script, written in all capital letters, there was a personal message.

"YOU ARE VERY CONFUSING. HAPPY BIRTHDAY."

"first time i saw the guy, i thought he was too serious for jokes. turns out he just had a hell of a pokerface." Sans sounded sad. After that, Alphys invited Frisk in to watch Mew Mew Kissy Cutie, and the conversation ended.

Gaster was always apologetic when he needed help. Once he'd memorized the sign for 'sorry', he used it constantly, especially when he was crying. Alphys was getting better at helping him, but Frisk was the usual one to calm him down. They were sad for him. A lot of bad things must have happened to him.

He had happy times, though. He actually seemed pretty content most of the time, and he was obviously proud of his progress. By the first month, he could read a picture book by himself. Frisk celebrated by giving him a special present.

They sat on his lap, holding a little box covered in wrapping paper. Gaster kept poking at it.

'IT'S A SQUARE.' He signed. He put his hands over Frisk's and shook the present. 'MYSTERY.' Frisk giggled.

'Pull off the paper.' they replied. He obliged, ripping away the paper and revealing a flashy box.

'MORE BOX. MORE MYSTERY.' He smiled.

'Can you read it?'

'SOME. MANY BIG WORDS. I DO NOT KNOW ALL.' Gaster squinted at the box. '"EASY. CALL FRIENDS. TALK. HAPPY."' His reading really was a lot better. Frisk nodded.

'Open the box!' they signed. He poked around the box, wriggling a finger under the top. With a few pulls, he wrenched it open and took out the contents. 

'YOU HAVE THIS.' Gaster observed, looking at it. Frisk nodded.

'It's a cell phone. I have one too.' Frisk turned it on for him. 'Good for conversations and the U-N-D-E-R-N-E-T.' Bright colors danced along the screen. Gaster traced his finger along it.

'FOR ME?'

'For you.' 

Gaster smiled, resting his chin on Frisk's head and watching the intro.

'THANK YOU.'

It was a good day.

 

 

 

**ALPHYS posted a picture.**

   CUTe PIC OF ME RIGHT NOW ^. ^

**GASTER posted a reply.**

THAT NO ALPHYS. NO IS YELOW. AM CUNFUSE.   

 


	15. Determination

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning for anesthesia here!! 
> 
> also, the wingdings translate to: "AAAAAUGH.... FRISK.... FRIIIIISK...." so basically just gaster crying as usual
> 
> sorry i took so long!! finals are destroying me lol

'Teeth.' Frisk signed. Gaster nodded. 'Sounds like...' They looked over to Sans.

"teeth." He said, grinning at Frisk. Gaster nodded. "spelled like..."

'T-E-E-T-H.' Frisk fingerspelled. Gaster nodded. 'Looks like...'

Frisk opened their mouth and smiled widely. Sans's expression stayed the same. They both pointed to their teeth. Gaster laughed and imitated them (he was missing a few, but he had teeth all the same). Frisk gave him a thumbs up and moved on.

'Tongue. Sounds like...'

"tongue. spelled like..."

'T-U-N-G. Looks like...'

"hey, frisk, wait a sec. that's not how you spell 'tongue'." Sans interrupted. Gaster looked between the two.

'T-U-N-G?' He imitated. Sans shook his head.

"i'm tellin you, it's not t-u-n-g. it's t-o-n... wait." Sans switched to signing. 'T-O-N-G-U-E.'

'T-U-N-G-U-E?' Gaster tried a compromise. 

"c'mon g, don't you trust me?"

'FRISK. PLEASE HELP.' Gaster turned to Frisk. They were scrolling through their phone.

'My phone says...' Frisk pursed their lips. 'T-U-N-G-S-T-E-N.'

'T-U-N-G-S-T-E-N?' Gaster looked back at Sans, who laughed.

"sure. tungsten." The lesson continued.

'Looks like...'

"F-Frisk? The DT Extraction Machine is... am I i-interrupting something?" Alphys peered in. She held a clear cylinder in her claws. Frisk shook their head.

'Lessons, but it's okay. Is it time?' They signed back. Alphys nodded.

"W-Whenever you're ready." 

Gaster looked very uneasy.

'THIS IS SAFE?' He signed, hands shaking a little bit. Frisk had explained what was going to happen beforehand- how they would be put under anesthesia, how Alphys would be placing their soul in a container, how they would wake up after a couple of hours and were going to be okay, they promised- but Gaster still seemed scared. He never liked it when he couldn't be with Frisk. If he couldn't see or easily find them, he would start to get scared.

'Yes, it's safe. I promise.' They reached their pinky out. Shakily, Gaster took it.

'I LOVE YOU. PLEASE STAY SAFE.' Ever since Gaster had learned "I love you", he said it all the time. Mostly to Frisk. Mostly when he was scared someone was going to leave.

Frisk gave him a hug. He wasn't crying yet. They were proud of him.

'I will. See you soon.'

 

 

So. Player. Frisk is asleep now.

I am surprised with you.

A hundred resets, despite the pleas of a desperate child.

You kept going.

You ruined me.

I am dead.

I have done so many horrible things to try and escape you.

And yet, after all that...

You only relent when you see what happened to him.

You kept going despite my brother's fate. Despite my fate. Despite the fates of all those I killed.

Do you only feel badly for him...

Because he still feels love? Because he is not bitter?

He is only like this because he does not remember what happened.

... In any case.

After this, you will be unable to reset or reload.

Frisk will be beyond your reach.

And so will I.

...

I suppose I could thank you.

But...

Well. Ha ha.

I could never be grateful to you. Not after all that has happened.

...

Frisk would thank you if they were awake.

...

Do not forget my threat, Player.

Genocide only stops being an option when you cease being able to reset.

I suppose this is your last chance to see me kill everyone, if you want that.

.... Ha ha ha.

No, that was not funny.

 

Frisk awoke to the sound of crying. Someone was running around the room, holding a variety of objects. Another knelt near a puddle of tar. It was very loud.

"AAAAAAAAUGH... FRISK.... FRIIIISK...."

"gaster, c'mon, they're just asleep, they're okay..."

"T-They're waking up!!"

A blurry figure ran to them. They reached to it blindly. Clammy fingers intertwined with their own.

"F-Frisk? Do you feel o-okay?" The figure asked. Frisk blinked, then rubbed their eyes. It was Alphys. They nodded, rolling over sleepily. They felt funny. Something was burbling from the floor. 

"see? look, buddy, they're fine." Someone said. Frisk was pretty sure it was Sans.

"U-um... so, the operation was a success!! I g-got all the determination that we needed, and y-you don't show any physical signs of issues..." Alphys fiddled with something. "Your heart monitor l-looks okay, and your soul went back into your body fine. Everything t-turned out great!! I-I was really nervous, a-and I thought... I thought I'd screw it up, but..." Frisk tried to put a hand on Alphys's arm, but it flopped around like a dead fish. They tried again. They failed.

They tried to sign 'good job'. Their hand ended up in their mouth. They giggled.

"... I-I'll go get you some water." Alphys looked at Sans. He made a thumbs up. She left.

Frisk hadn't noticed the tar sliding over to them until it rested its face on their belly and sobbed. Oh. That was Gaster.

"hey frisk. looks like you're feeling a little loopy, huh?" Sans stood in front of them. They waved to him. Hi, Sans. "yeah, i figured. anesthesia'll do that to you. anyway, g was pretty worried about you. i've been spending the past hour tryin' to convince him there's nothing tibia 'fraid of." He laughed at his own joke. Frisk didn't get it. They blew a few spit bubbles in response.

Frisk flopped forward, their face ending up in the middle of Gaster's goop. It's okay, Gaster. He grabbed onto them and sobbed a little more.

Wait! Frisk realized something. They hadn't finished their lesson with Gaster earlier!! They needed to fix that.

They stuck out their tongue.

Gaster's goop tasted really bad.

Sans couldn't stop laughing.


	16. Free

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope this doesnt seem rushed?? i'm sorry if it is. i'm still doing finals and all that
> 
> my physics final was today!! i think it turned out pretty well, all things considered. it was literally six questions. six long, confusing, conceptual questions. thank god its over

Frisk eventually came out of their anesthesia-fueled haze (after a long nap), Gaster eventually stopped crying, and Sans's youtube video of the whole affair eventually finished uploading. When it was all over and done with, Frisk was in Gaster's lap drinking water and Alphys was excitedly talking about her progress on the new body. Gaster's face was buried in Frisk's hair.

"So, I've been w-working, and the basic structure is a-almost done!! I-I've been tweaking a few bits to make sure it can do things like balance and have full range of movement, a-and after that, Sans is going to bring pictures of Gaster's o-old body for us to work off of. We should be done s-soon." The small lizard's hands waved around as she spoke. "Once the body is done, G-Gaster will be able to use it, and a-after that, I'll supplement his soul with the determination you gave s-since... um, I'm n-not sure what determination will do to him, s-so giving it to him after h-he's introduced to a m-more... uh... a s-s-solid f-form... l-like a mechanical b-body should m-make sure nothing.... bad happens." Frisk leaned over (a little woozily- they were still sleepy) and patted her knee. Alphys had already told them about the Amalgamates. They knew she didn't like to talk about them.

'THANK YOU. I AM VERY EXCITED AND HAPPY.' Gaster moved his head to look at Alphys. He had been told about most of the situation, but Frisk wasn't sure he really understood, especially since he was distracted with his lessons. He'd mainly latched onto the idea of his soul being more stable and safe. 

Alphys gave him a smile, looking a little less upset. Frisk made a mental note to see Sans's pictures. Chara's descriptions were thorough, but not the same as seeing a real photo.

Speaking of Chara, they were in a really good mood since the operation. A really, really good mood. From what they'd said, the Player couldn't interact with them anymore. The save file was gone. There was no more reset button. The Player had no control anymore, and the timelines were finally going to proceed normally. Sans was just as happy- actually, he had gone home early once Frisk was on their feet. He wanted to spend some time with Papyrus. Alphys and Gaster didn't seem to understand, but Alphys wasn't prying and Gaster just seemed happy that everyone else was happy. 

"U-um, there's no need to thank me!! I-I might still screw it all up..." Alphys rubbed her arm self-consciously. Frisk shook their head and grinned in what they hoped was a comforting way.

'You won't. And even if you do, everyone's here to help.' The lizard monster teared up a little bit, but she returned Frisk's smile.

"... Thanks, Frisk. That means a lot." The lizard monster still looked anxious, still looked upset, yet she seemed to take Frisk's words to heart. She wiped her eyes and looked back at the two. "... A-anyway, do you guys want to have a celebration tonight? Since everything's going so well..." 

'Sounds fun.' Frisk gave a thumbs up. Gaster imitated them. Alphys laughed.

"I-I'll start up some instant noodles." Alphys only really knew how to make instant food, Gaster hadn't been taught what a stove was yet, and Frisk was a small child. None of them were really able to make anything beyond cup ramen and milkshakes. 

'Okay. Gaster picks out the anime?'

'OKAY. I WILL TRY. MIGHT NEED HELP READING WORDS.' Gaster probably meant the titles. 

'I'll help.' Frisk wiggled a bit in Gaster's lap. They were excited. Gaster laughed and put his face back in their hair.

_'... Frisk?'_

_'Chara?'_

_'I want to ask you for a favor.'_   Frisk could feel a smile in Chara's words. They nodded.

_'Sure. Go ahead.'_

* * *

Chara laid in Gaster's lap, drinking a milkshake (fire candy and fruity sorbet- a classic of Hotland) and watching the Mew Mew Kissy Cutie Christmas movie: Kiseki! A Christmas Mewracle. Gaster was eating his noodles. Alphys was liveblogging the movie.

Frisk had let them take control of the body. Really, they could whenever they wanted (Frisk understood that they probably wouldn't actually hurt anyone, especially since the Player was gone), but they always made sure to ask. Mom had taught them to ask before doing things like that.

There wasn't really a big reason why Chara wanted to take control for the night. They just wanted to appreciate all that had happened.

They couldn't talk directly to the Player anymore. That was okay. That was better than okay. After all, the Player never said anything back.

Chara wondered what the Player was thinking, if they were watching what was happening. They supposed it didn't matter.

The Player was all gone.

No more reloads. No more resets.

They were so happy.

"Frisk." They mouthed to themself, holding their milkshake in their hand. Tears ran down their face. They were smiling. "Frisk, I'm finally free."


	17. Photograph, part 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i just realized after reading over the last chapter: gaster picked out the movie for everyone. the movie everyone saw was the mew mew kissy cutie holiday movie: Kiseki! A Christmas Mew-racle. therefore, gaster must have picked that, out of all the movies alphys had, to watch with everyone. let me emphasize that. out of all the movies he could have picked. he chose the mew mew kissy cutie holiday movie: Kiseki! A Christmas Mew-racle. what enticed him about that movie? was it the title? was it the premise? is gaster a magical girl fan? did he just like the cover? i dont know. i didnt even notice myself writing it. i guess gaster is a magical girl fan now. take this information however you want. 
> 
> (it was probably the cover. gaster doesnt know what a mew mew kissy cutie is. he barely knows what a christmas is.)
> 
> anyway, finals finally finish tomorrow!! i'm so excited for the break omg

**9:01 PM: You sent papyrus a message!**

   hi papyrus

 

**9:01 PM: papyrus sent you a message!**

HELLO HUMAN!!   

**9:01 PM: You sent papyrus a message!**

   can u giv ur fone 2 sans agen?

**9:01 PM: papyrus sent you a message!**

HMMM...   

I AM LOATHE TO DO SO, SINCE HE LEFT GREASY FINGERPRINTS EVERYWHERE LAST TIME...   

BUT SINCE YOU ARE MY SUPER COOL FRIEND, I WILL DO IT!!   

**9:02 PM: You sent papyrus a message!**

   thanx papyrus i apreceate it

**9:03 PM: papyrus sent you a message!**

OF COURSE!! HERE HE IS.   

**9:03 PM: papyrus sent you a message!**

hey kid   

bro is givin me the stink eye so we should keep this quick   

**9:03 PM: You sent papyrus a message!**

   hi sans

   i wantd 2 ask u

**9:04 PM: papyrus sent you a message!**

shoot  

**9:04 PM: You sent papyrus a message!**

   can i c ur fotos of gaster?

   b4 he fel i meen

   u dont hav 2 if itz a seekret

**9:07 PM: papyrus sent you a message!**

huh   

is that all?   

sure i can hook you up  

**9:07 PM: You sent papyrus a message!**

thanx u very much sans 

Sans kept his word. The next time he came to the lab, he brought a little camera in a plastic baggie. The whole lab was decorated for the holidays by that point- Frisk had made clumsy little paper chains, while Gaster had tried to do the same, but ended up making a crude, relatively structurally sound but not remotely festive paper model of the lab. Frisk was re-purposing it into a gingerbread house. Alphys, meanwhile, had indulged in the decorating and drawn some anime girls in santa outfits, which were all taped on the wall. Sans grinned as he walked in.

"huh. looks like everybody's in the spirit." He commented, poking at one of the paper chains. Frisk waved hello while Gaster gestured a greeting. Both were on the floor, still working on a few decorations. "nice model you have there, g." The goopy skeleton signed a slightly half-hearted thanks in response. Sans sounded melancholy at the observation, and Frisk could tell Gaster had noticed. 

'We're gonna watch some movies with Alphys. Watch with us.' They signed in an effort to defuse the melancholy mood. Even though Gaster and Sans were a bit more comfortable around each other than they were at first, things could still get... awkward. Sans was trying to hide it, but he was obviously grieving, and Gaster was uncomfortable because of it. He hadn't been told too much about what had happened, mostly out of fear for his health (Frisk didn't want to scare him by telling him he'd been pushed), but Frisk knew he remembered having fallen. He was smart, too- it was easy to forget when they saw him struggling to express simple phrases or asking what something like a shoe was, but he had once been a very good scientist, and he'd picked up on the implications of Sans's actions immediately. Once Sans left after that first meeting, in fact, he'd asked Frisk straightaway ('HIM KNEW NO FALL ME?'), and the answer didn't seem to surprise him. 

Frisk could only imagine how hard it was for both of them. Sans, seeing someone so close to him acting so differently and hurt so deeply, and Gaster, constantly being compared to a man who hadn't fallen. They scooted onto Gaster's lap and gestured Sans over.

"gee, kid, how can i say no to that?" he chuckled and plopped down. He kept a respectful distance from Gaster. "when are we starting?"

'Soon. Alphys is picking the first one right now.' Frisk signed back, settling into their goopy friend's lap. Gaster began brushing his fingers through their hair, which they leaned into and sighed. Maybe it was because Frisk was such a snuggly person, or maybe it was relief out of not being alone, but Gaster had become quite cuddly. 

He started tickling their sides lightly, snickering (Frisk was starting to differentiate between his various burbles). Frisk giggled and squirmed. Sans reclined in his seat (Gaster and Frisk remained on the floor while Sans had taken residence on a beanbag). Alphys entered a few moments later.

"I-I found one that I think everyone's gonna l-like!!" She carried a brightly colored DVD. Frisk clapped for her. Finding a movie that everyone was okay with was difficult. Gaster was scared by violence, loud noises, and anything too threatening, while Alphys and Frisk had triggers of their own (the melting scene in Frosty the Snowman, for example, was strictly forbidden for obvious reasons). "A-And... oh, hi Sans!" Sans gave her a finger wave. "We were j-just about to start. I-I hope you're okay with 'A Year Without A Santa Claus'..." 

"sounds like a terrifying possibility, but i think i'll manage." He winked. Alphys laughed. 

"Great!" She plopped down next to him. "I even o-ordered a pizza for everyone over the p-phone... um... I h-hope you like cheese." Gaster clapped this time, with Frisk reaching out their hand for a high five. Alphys blushed and returned it. Her social anxiety made phone calls really difficult, so any time she could pull one off was really impressive and, in Frisk's opinion, really brave. Sans fistbumped Alphys, his grin getting a little bigger.

"hey, great job. i'd love a pizza that." Alphys squinted at him. Frisk groaned. Gaster looked confused. "wow, tough crowd."

Alphys popped the DVD into the player and turned the TV on. Everyone settled in, only moving when the pizza came.

Neither Sans or Frisk brought up the camera. Not then, not with Gaster there.

Later, though.

Frisk and Sans were the only ones left awake, eventually. Alphys had hung out with Undyne earlier and, exhausted, fell asleep halfway into the second movie. Gaster had followed around the start of the third. Sans was looking pretty heavy-eyed himself, but Frisk was totally alert. They'd been waiting for a chance all night.

They slipped out of Gaster's lap, careful not to wake him, and poked Sans in the shoulder. He startled awake, blinking wildly before his eyes rested on Frisk and he relaxed.

"scared the hell out of me, kiddo. sup?" He whispered, regarding them with a sleepy grin. Frisk began wildly signing.

'Wanna see the pictures.' Sans chuckled.

"right, i almost forgot." He scooted forward, bones quietly clicking as he straightened himself out. He stood up. "let's take this outside. don't wanna wake anybody."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, Papyrus.  
> [...]  
> Can you give your phone to Sans again?  
> [...]  
> Thanks Papyrus, I appreciate it.  
> [...]  
> Hi, Sans.  
> I wanted to ask you.  
> [...]  
> Can I see your photos of Gaster?  
> Before he fell, I mean.  
> You don't have to if it's a secret.  
> [...]  
> Thank you very much, Sans!


	18. Photograph, part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OKAY!!! ITS BEEN A LONG TIME!!!! BUT HERES!!!!! THE NEXT CHAPTER!!!!!
> 
> im sorry i took so long with this one!! i was pretty stuck on this chapter, but i like how it turned out!! when in doubt, spend ten minutes in paint and slap that in
> 
> also!! i never mentioned this before but. my tumblr is raspberrymonsta so if you want to talk to me outside the comments section, go ahead and hmu!!

Sans led them outside. The air was hot, and the lava around them glowed gently. Frisk wondered why it was darker at night here, considering there was no sun to go down.

The pair sat down, leaning on the lab's outer wall. 

"alright, kid." Sans snuggled into his hoodie and relaxed, his head resting against the wall. "don't wreck my camera, okay?" He closed his eyes and within seconds was snoring away. Apparently, Frisk was embarking in this photoventure alone. 

They shifted, intending to wake Sans and ask him to give them the camera, but they felt a new weight in their pocket. When they checked it, they saw the device was already inside.

Sans was a very mysterious skeleton.

Frisk pressed the power button. The little camera creaked and groaned, the lens zooming in and out just a bit as it turned on. A little screen on the back lit up. Frisk squinted in the sudden light and brought the device closer to their face.

According to the top of the screen, there were 64 pictures in the memory and about an hour left of battery. Sans must have forgotten to charge it. 

Frisk pressed the right arrow key and checked the first photo.

It was a selfie of Sans. He wore a lab coat instead of a hoodie, and he was holding a coffee. A table was visible nearby, which was littered with papers. Frisk peeked at the skeleton next to them, then back to the picture. Sans looked very different back then.

The second picture was a zoomed-in image of a typed letter. 

 

The handwriting was hard to read, but Frisk could understand the typed bits easily enough. Sans had been a scientist? An assistant, apparently. Huh. Honestly, when Frisk had seen the lab coat, they had just assumed Sans was a lunch lady at some point in time.

The next picture showed the Lab, looking very similar to its current incarnation. There appeared to be more security, though. Instead of just a door, there was a fence and a keypad. Cute little cacti littered the area in a haphazard style. The following picture was just Sans, standing in front of it, flashing a peace sign. From the shakiness of the image, Frisk had a feeling Papyrus had taken the picture.

Frisk nudged Sans, wanting to ask for context, but he seemed content to keep snoozing. Or maybe he just didn't want to talk to them.

They kept going.

The fifth picture was the first one of... well.

Sans stood next to a tall figure, more than 2 feet of height difference between him and the other. Where Sans was fat, the figure was skinny, and where Sans looked jovial, the figure seemed reserved. The only real resemblance was the fact that the two were both skeletons. The tall figure wore a turtleneck under a lab coat that seemed far too short for them and a pair of clinging, knee-length shorts. Ruffled sleeves poked out of their wrist cuffs, implying a light, loose shirt underneath. Their face sagged on their right side. They had wrinkles around their eyes. Their smile was stiff and odd.

It was the first picture of Gaster.

Seeing him like that was odd for Frisk- his slime was gone, and he looked far less timid. He looked... full. Not hollow.

They kept going.

A lot of other pictures didn't seem very important- rooms, machines, a weird stain on a wall- they had to skim a bit until they reached the next important picture.

It was a video, actually. The thumbnail was a picture of Gaster looking confused. He was holding a toothpick and skewering a cheese cube. Frisk pressed play.

The audio was grainy, but they could understand what was going on.

"Doctor!! Doctor, I got Sans's camera!! Say hi!!" A warbling voice sounded from the speakers. The view kept shaking. Gaster looked up from the cheese platter, eyebrows raised. He signed a quick hello. His facial expression didn't change throughout the entire exchange.

"Are you having fun at the party??" A hand, presumably the cameraperson's, reached over and grabbed a cracker. Gaster nodded. "Sans got really drunk. Like everyone else, hahaha!!" Gaster shrugged.

'As long as everyone is enjoying themself, I suppose.' Chara had been right. Gaster's signing really was elegant.

"Hee hee, don't worry, they are!! Phlebo brought jello shots." Gaster made a face. "Anyway!! Anything you want to tell the camera??" Gaster shook his head. "Let me rephrase that. Is there anything you want to tell everyone??"

'Please do not go near the lava. And please do not break anything.'

"Thaaaanks, Doctor!!"

The clip ended.

The remainder of the pictures were similar- pictures of promotion notices (Sans eventually made it to the position of chief scientist! Frisk had eventually deciphered his department to be the "natural sciences" division), a few pictures of people Frisk didn't recognize, Gaster signing something in front of a room, various pranks, Sans sleeping at his desk (someone had drawn on his face and written on a report- "IMMOLA WAS HERE")- it looked like a really happy environment.

Frisk felt like they were intruding on something.

Gaster... probably wouldn't be very comfortable with them seeing these things.

After all, he didn't like it when people treated him like a tragedy.

It was rude to talk about a man who hadn't fallen when the man who had was listening.

_'Frisk?'_

_'Yeah?'_

_'Let's stop looking at these. It's making both of us uncomfortable.'_

_'.... Yeah.'_

Frisk put the camera back in Sans's pocket. He cracked an eye open.

"you done?"

Frisk nodded.

They both went back inside.


	19. Christmas

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im really sorry that i havent updated in a while!! first there were midterms, then there was christmas, then there was a visit to my cousin's, then there was new year's, and now school is happening again and i finally got off my butt to post this.
> 
> it's been maybe two weeks? i'm really sorry aaah... i'm trying to make it up with a longer chapter than usual!! this is also the second-to-last chapter, after which i'll work on some drabbles about this series, probably. i hope everyone had a happy holiday season and a great new year's!!
> 
> there is a reference to suicide in this chapter, but it's pretty brief. still, be warned.

No one was really sure when Christmas was, so they just took their time planning the celebration. Sans wanted Papyrus to meet Gaster, and Alphys wanted Undyne to meet him as well, but obviously, both parties were very loud and very active in person, which were both... scary for the void man. Also, it was hard to really keep presents secret: Frisk could work on their gifts while Gaster and Alphys were together, but... Frisk was still of the mindset that Santa Claus was real. So, Frisk could not be in the room while Gaster and Alphys worked on their presents, and Gaster wasn't able to handle being alone... everyone's schedules had become complicated. 

But everyone did eventually celebrate Christmas.

A tree just sort of... ended up in the lab? Frisk was pretty sure it was Sans's fault. Alphys had some spare Christmas lights around, and everyone hung things of their choice on the tree (Frisk put paper snow flakes and bits of candy, while Gaster placed some of the goodies he'd recieved from the Dimensional Box on it. Alphys had some anime waifus that she decorated the tree with. Chara just sort of... threw some glitter at the tree and snickered.) Sans brought some garland. 

Gaster was incredibly excited by the lights. He liked fiddling with them, rolling them in between his fingers and observe the wires. Sometimes, he would take off the bulbs, examine the raw electronics, and pop it back on. He didn't seem to understand how they worked, but he wanted to find out. 

On the food side, everyone was pitching in. Papyrus was, as always, sending "spaghetti", Sans was probably just going to bring some Grillby's if he remembered to, Alphys was making a BIG BATCH of instant noodles, and Frisk and Gaster were tag-teaming the hot chocolate. Pizza was coming and ice cream was stowed in the freezer. 

On Christmas morning, Frisk bounded down the escalator, excitedly signing about how Santa had come. Alphys sort of... rolled out of the bed and laid on the floor. Gaster eventually picked her up and trickled his way down to the second story.

'SANTA CAME!!! HE CAME!!!' Frisk signed excitedly, looking around the large pile of presents. There was one from Alphys, one from Gaster, and several from Frisk's many friends. There were big gifts and small gifts (some weren't even wrapped), but it was amazing just how much people cared about Frisk. The personal gifts outnumbered the ones from "Santa" (aka, a crack team of Alphys, Sans, Gaster, and Undyne).

"Do you w-want to open them now?" Alphys rubbed her eyes, yawning. Gaster put her down. Frisk nodded furiously and began tearing into them, taking pictures with their phone.

The spiders in the Ruins had given some particularly large crumbs of Spider Donuts. The Vegetoids gave a bit of glittery sand they'd found. Several Waterfall residents gave echo flowers or glittery stones. Gerson gave a shiny stone. River Person gave... something (it was like a tiny wooden dog? It kept moving when it thought Frisk wasn't looking.)

After they finished with the pile, Frisk finally got to Alphys's present. They beamed, thanked her in advance, and ripped away the paper.

Inside... was an adorable scooter! It was blue and red and green and teal and yellow and orange and purple and glittery and Frisk loved it. There was even a little button on the handlebars labeled "hover", and a board that extended to fit more people! (And a phone holder)

"I-I know that o-once Gaster's in his new body, y-you'll probably want to get going... so, f-for when that happens, here's something to make traveling easier!" Alphys explained the various functions of the device as Frisk cooed over it and Gaster flicked at the wheels. Both seemed absolutely enthralled. It really was gorgeous.

Frisk gave Alphys a huge hug, sat down on the board, and moved on to Gaster's gift. The package was significantly smaller and lighter- then again, Gaster didn't have the knowledge or materials to make a scooter. At least, Frisk was pretty sure that he didn't. 

Instead, he'd given them an... actually really impressive paper necklace. For the materials, time, and skill that he had, it was pretty amazing. There were makeshift beads and twisty cubes and careful drawings in pen of Frisk and Sea Tea and their favorite anime. All the things Gaster knew they liked. Frisk put it on immediately, hugged him (he'd laughed), and then passed Alphys and Gaster some presents to open. There were a few boxes for Frisk left (mostly from "Santa"), but those could wait. Frisk wanted to see what Gaster and Alphys thought of their gifts.

For Gaster, Frisk had gotten a librarby card! They explained that it meant Gaster could pick out his own books at the librarby and wouldn't need Sans to go for him. The chubby skeleton wanted Gaster to get better, he really did, but he seemed... uncomfortable with some of Gaster's book requests. Physics books, magical girl manga (Frisk didn't know why he liked it so much- maybe it was the designs?), children's reading books, instruction manuals for engineering and origami and chemistry, textbooks... Sans usually just ended up bringing children's science texts and picture books. And manga. Sans actually found the manga pretty funny, but... whenever Gaster mentioned science, he got nervous.

Gaster didn't seem to really... understand the little plastic card marked "LIRBARY", but that was alright, and he was excited anyway.

Alphys got two things- a little coupon book ("1 week uf Frisk playing w Endogeny, Giv Frisk ur Emalgamete feding shift, 2 weekz of Frisk scredding the male") (Frisk was okay with doing those things anyway, but it was easier if they just offered. Alphys wasn't good at asking for help) and a suitcase. The scientist was a little confused, but they seemed to get a bit of a sense for what it meant. Frisk grinned.

'We can all see Asgore together!!' Frisk signed excitedly. Alphys's eyes widened with surprise. They knew the lizard monster was lonely, and sad, and having a hard time, and dangerously depressed, and Frisk's friend, so!! It was a perfect opportunity. Alphys started crying a little bit, overwhelmed with feelings of validation and friendship and excitement.

"T-Thank you... I- uh..." She sniffled and gave a genuine smile. "... I was really nervous about you guys leaving, honestly." Frisk knew. Alphys had been taking some... odd methods to try and keep them around. She'd scheduled more anime nights, told them repeatedly how cool she'd found them, interrupted lessons more often with random requests... sometimes, she would tell lies, have Frisk and Gaster do meaningless little things that she didn't actually need done, just things that would maybe make them stay a little longer... Frisk never really minded, though. It was just more proof that Alphys was... desperate. Dangerously depressed. Hurting. Lonely. They didn't want her to be sad. They wanted to help her.

And Chara never wanted to see anyone go through what they had experienced. What had happened with... with the buttercups.

"I'm... I'm really excited to go with you guys."

Alphys got a big hug from Frisk and a more tentative, 'are-we-doing-this-now' hug from Gaster. It was nice.

 

Sans arrived at around 12pm. He and Papyrus had actually celebrated Christmas on another (correct) day already, so he wasn't otherwise engaged. Papyrus was on Facetime, sitting on the couch with Undyne. The camera kept shaking and moving with Papyrus's excited movements.

"GREETINGS, FRISK!! IT IS I, YOUR COOL FRIEND PAPYRUS!!" He cheered into the phone. Sans grimaced and turned down the volume. "MERRY NOT-CHRISTMAS!! I SEE YOU ALSO HAVE ALPHYS WITH YOU, AND AN AMORPHOUS SKELETON BLOB!! HELLO!!" Papyrus waved excitedly while Undyne grinned in the background. Alphys nodded to the camera quickly before running off somewhere.

"FRISK!! Are you hyped that Santa came??" Undyne flashed a grin, holding a cup of hot chocolate. "He did a good job, right??? You're excited about his presents, RIGHT??? RIGHT???" Undyne had been the most excited about pretending to be the fat man in red.

Frisk nodded peppily and grabbed one of the gifts from "Santa", bouncing excitedly. They were back in Gaster's lap, a bowl of cereal sitting next to them, still right near the Christmas tree. 

"HEL- HECK YEAH YOU ARE!!" Undyne corrected herself quickly.

"I CAN'T BELIEVE SANTA CAME EVEN THOUGH IT'S NOT CHRISTMAS, FRISK!! YOU MUST HAVE BEEN REALLY GOOD THIS YEAR." Papyrus replied. Frisk beamed with pride. They'd worked really hard all year to be nice to everyone, even when it was really hard. Being rewarded felt good.

They could feel Chara pressed next to their soul, warm and friendly. 'You really have been. Great job, Frisk.'

"WE MADE SPAGHETTI TOGETHER FOR YOUR DINNER!! SANS SAID YOUR SKELETON FRIEND IS A PASTA ENTHUSIAST, SO I PACKED EXTRA!!" Papyrus suddenly gasped. "WAIT... THEY'RE A PASTA LOVING SKELETON WHO IS ALSO YOUR FRIEND. I'M A PASTA LOVING SKELETON WHO IS ALSO YOUR FRIEND... OH MY GOD!! IS YOUR FRIEND MY DOPPELGANGER??"

"What?? No, he can't be!! Doppelgangers aren't real." Undyne elbowed him. "Everyone knows evil twins are where it's at!!!!"

"maybe he's just cosplaying as you, bro." Sans piped up.

Gaster looked down at Frisk worriedly. He was already pretty nervous to start, and the idea of evil twins was freaking him out even more.

'He's Gaster. He's my friend.' Frisk signed, grinning back up at Gaster. The goopy man waved shyly to the camera.

"GREETINGS, GASTER!!" Pap waved back. "PERHAPS WE'VE MET BEFORE... ? YOUR FACE IS... FAMILIAR."

"probably because he's a skeleton."

"... YES!!! THAT'S IT!!! YOUR FACE REMINDS ME OF MY OWN FACE!!" Papyrus laughed, emitting several "nyeh"s. Gaster looked confused.

'YOU FACE NO CRACKS.' He signed, hands shaking a little. His signing was worse when he got anxious. Frisk patted his hand comfortingly.

"well, sometimes being a skeleton isn't all it's... cracked up to be." 

"SANS!!!"

"H-Hey, now that e-everyone's here, um..." Frisk, Sans, and Gaster all looked to see Alphys emerge from the True Lab, coat fluttering behind her. Papyrus "nyeh"ed in confusion until Sans turned the phone. "I-I have a special present f-for Gaster!" She grinned. Gaster made a surprised burble and pointed to himself questioningly. Sans nodded.

"yeah, buddy. why not go and see what it is?" He stood up as Frisk jumped out of the void man's lap, grinning. 

The human jumped excitedly as Gaster left his seat, following everyone into the lab. They all gathered in the elevator and set off for the first floor.

Gaster looked confused, most of all, but he also seemed a bit excited. The doors binged.

Everyone stepped out.

Frisk gasped. Gaster's eyes widened.

Alphys laughed.

Before them was an odd, tall figure with long fingers and small feet. A plain black shirt-pants set decorated its body, along with a light scarf. It had a head in the shape of a skull.

It was Gaster's new body, all finished.

 


	20. Author's Note

sorry about posting an author's note instead of a chapter- i know i always feel like it's a cop-out when i see a story updated, but it's not a new chapter. i just felt like, since it's been over a month, i need to tell you guys why i haven't posted the last chapter, and why it's been so long.

it's not anything super severe, don't worry- it's just that, ever since the start of the new year, my parents have been very anxious about my grades, so they've been really hammering into me about that (oddly enough, the pressure is making my grades drop). i've been fighting with them a lot because of all this, so i've been really stressed out and just unable to get myself to write, especially since i don't have time to lavish you guys with the illustrated update that i want to. i have a four-day weekend coming up, so it might be up then, though!!

otherwise, one of our dogs also passed away. it's been a few weeks, so everyone's calmed down, but it's been another big stress thing for me on top of school. my school goes at a rigorous pace, especially because i take two AP classes, and i haven't had time to really tend to my emotional needs with the tension at home and the working at school. 

i hope to update within the next month!! i'm sorry that it's taking so long- especially since i used to update daily. sorry about that!! i hope you guys have a nice valentine's day <3


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